Sunday, May 8, 2011

Operación Bikini - Take 2

Pharmacy Window Display on Calle Huertas, Madrid

I have a big butt and I cannot lie….

I’ve got cellulite on my thighs…that was my rendition of Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Boy does time fly!  Seems like just yesterday when my co-workers were reminding me that it was time for “operación bikini”.   I feel like I am experiencing a bit of Ground Hog’s Day!  Since I wrote a post last year about operación bikini, I will try to make this post a bit different. 

In Madrid, there are farmacias, parafarmacias, and perfumerías located just about on every block.  The Corte Ingles has an entire floor dedicated to creams, make-up, body wash, toothpaste, nail polish, and they even have a farmacia located in almost every Corte Ingles.  As you take a stroll down almost any street in Madrid you can see the flashing green neon signs for farmacias and parapharmacias and perfume shops within a short distance of each other.  Why are there so many?  How do they all manage to stay in business?  Aside from medicines, each of these venues sells shower gel, there are over 1000 different brands and savory scents, some more natural than others some more potent then others, some are foamier than others, etc.  I remember the first time I went to get shower gel, I think I left the drug store with a nose full of the stuff from trying to squeeze the bottle oh so gently so none would spill out but just enough to get a waft of the scent.  I felt triumphant after I selected my shower gel.  Habitants of Madrid LOVE their shower gel, which I find a bit unbelievable, especially after a ride in the metro during operación bikini season. 

One of the worst things about operación bikini season is the stink in the metro.  There are really no words to describe the stench but if I had to choose a couple, they would be RANCID, ROTTEN, NASTY, ODOROUS, and GROSS.  I travel by metro several times a day and to top it off, my height causes me to be at armpit level that can sometimes take my breath away, and not in a good way.  It makes me wonder if anybody actually uses shower gel.

Another major part of operación bikini season in Madrid is the number of anti-cellulite creams.  Almost every beauty line has one.  Just recently I was walking around the center and every single drug store window display offered some sort of magic in a bottle.  Women become obsessed with the products.   

Some of these magic potions are for piel de naranja, orange peel looking skin, some promise to make you loose two sizes by using their gunk twice a day, some are for use in the night and promise that you will look better in the morning, some promise to get rid of that celulitis difícil.  I could go on and on.  I have tried several and some actually do work but some of them smell worse than some of the armpits I have smelled in the metro.

Times are changing but many Spanish women are not into exercising so, if a cream promises to change something that could be changed with a bit of exercise, why not?

I asked Fruitcake about anti-cellulite creams and he said they are a timo (a hoax, scandal).  I am not going to deny the fact that when I see a photo of a flat torso or perfect legs with no sign of cellulite, I am a total sucker.  That is what we call good advertising. 

I have tried 3 different brands of anti-cellulite creams, one of which is Elyancil (see photo).  Spaniards swear by it.  I used it for two months (buy one get one free promo) and found absolutely no difference in my legs that are inflicted by the orange peel syndrome.  I also tried one that was supposedly made of natural ingredients and it actually worked after a month or so of using it but it smelled awful.  The smell would actually last for days even when I hadn’t used the products.  I walked around more self-conscious about the weird smell than the cellulite on my thighs. 

Per usual, I decided to send out a SMS to my girl friends to find out their opinion on anti-cellulite cream.  Most of them responded to my text message within minutes.  One recommended Bioderm and Clarins while another said that she had no idea about the creams but that diet and exercise work just fine.

I happened to be having vinitos with two girl friends at the time and one of my friends who takes very good care of her perfect figure said the following:

“Hay que usar las cremas durante todo el año para que tienen afecto.  Se puede usar las cremas baratas durante el otoño y el invierno pero hay que usar las caras durante la primavera y el verano.  Ejercicio y dieta y tomar mucha agua es clave.”

She basically stated that the creams needed to be used year round.  One can use the cheap creams in the fall and winter and then use the expensive ones in the spring and summer.  She said diet and exercise are the key along with drinking lots of water.  She recommended Somatoline for the night or Roc anti-cellulite.  She also said for a cream to be affective, it needs to be used in the morning or the night.  If you don’t have much, it needs to be used in the night. 

My other friend said that 10 sessions of lymphatic draining at a beauty clinic works wonders for cellulite but you need to have money and time.       

Effective advertising is most definitely more effective than the creams although for a body gel to be effective, it must be used.  If you want to make the best of the operación bikini season, I would say go the traditional diet route by drinking more water, eating more fruits on an empty stomach, eating a salad a day, take the stairs when possible, walk the extra distance, and select a shower gel that reminds you of spring.


No comments:

Post a Comment