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| This was my hand in August 2008 |
I am never really sure what I should write in my blog and I am never really sure who really reads it. I started it because I always wanted to be a novelist. As an avid reader, I can’t imagine what I would write that would top a NY Times bestseller. Today is a special day for me, I could say that I have tears in my eyes but I no longer have tears. Today, according to the Sjögren’s Foundation that was founded in 1983, is the First Annual Sjögren’s Awareness Day, July 23 because because it is Dr. Henrik Sjögren's birthday, the man who discovered it.
I refer to this particular autoimmune disease as Shitgrins as the autoimmune disease is total shit but I have found that the more cheerful and positive that I am, the better I feel, hence the grin part!
I was officially diagnosed with the Shitgrins in October 2008. I made my dear friend Annabel go to the best Rheumatologist in Spain with me for the diagnosis because my hubby was in Germany. I was shaking in my shoes. I had been poked and prodded for months.
It all started in March 2008. I thought I had broken a bone in my hand from carrying a box of paper up to another floor. So, off I went to a Traumatologist. He told me I had temporary arthritis, gave me a prescription and told me if my right hand was still swollen to get an X-ray. 15 days go by and I then had 2 swollen wrists. I had to figure out where to get the X-ray done. I finally get the X-ray done and he tells me to take the pills for longer. The end of May rolls around and I started to swell up like a beached whale that had been in the sun. I decide that I need to go to another doctor. So, I go to a general doctor. He prescribes more tests and more drugs. I go with the paper to the lab and get the blood drawn. A few weeks later, I am back in his office. “Your cholesterol is high, you have to go on a diet”. I am thinking to myself, “What the hell? I eat no fat, barely like any foods and go to the gym-I have NEVER had high cholesterol." A month goes by and I have gained more weight and can no longer sleep because I am achy and any move hurts and I found myself crying all the time. I go back to that doctor but when I am in the doctor’s office, a different doctor appears. He told me that I was obviously not following the diet and the cholesterol was going to my joints. “HELLLLLLO?, anybody in there?” I knew something was wrong.
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| I felt like the Tin Man |
I go to the States in August, and all I can do was sleep, be mean, sleep, be mean and barely eat, in the meantime, I kept getting LARGER. After seeing 3 doctors in Spain, my cousins who are prominent doctors/surgeons told me what tests I needed to have done; Lyme, Celiac and to see a Rheumatologist (whoever that was).
I went to see my mom’s doctors who I now think are total shit along with the Shitgrins for them to tell me that I don’t have Lyme nor am I a Celiac. Hmmmmm…The husband doctor gave me the results of my tests and proceeds to tell me me that I am depressed and should consider taking anti-depressants. Anybody who really knows me would never tell me I am depressed, a bit crazy, but depressed never.
So, I head back to Spain a bit discouraged and LARGE. I can no longer sleep because my entire body hurts. So, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Finally, a diagnosis!!! It took 11 doctors to finally assure me that it wasn’t me being a hypochondriac. Primary Sjögren’s Syndrome. WTF is that? It is an autoimmune disease that affects the glands and essentially makes the internal organs not so happy.
So there, to make a long story short, and with the help of Dr. Gumers, Marty, and Josette, I found myself seeking alternative treatments because the corticoids and other drugs made me feel crappy. I found Fruitcake through Celia, a dear workmate.
Fruitcake is a Biological Medicine doctor that does nose jobs on the side. He is a quake, sometimes a perv, but he is fixing me through extensive biological analysis. I often think that Fruitcake is from another planet. He makes me drink things that taste like they came from the bottom of the faucet drain, my fridge is filled with vitamins, I go to his office once a month and I get IVs for 3 and a half hours, it’s EXPENSIVE, BUT it works!! Less shoes, better health, right? He has never told me that I have Sjögren’s but rather a body out of balance, which essentially is the description of Sjogren’s.
I just want to take a moment to give a shout out to those of you who have an autoimmune disease or something that inflicts your health. It can suck, it can be the pits, you feel lost, you feel alone, you feel like you want to die, you feel like you want to break something, you feel it isn’t fair, you feel you want to cry but, out of experience, the more positive you are, the more meditation you do (check out my blog on the yogi guru), the more love you receive, the more you laugh, the more you see that life is lovely, you can overcome.
Love you all for your endearing support.
First Annual Sjögren’s World Awareness.
