To be or not to be....LOUD??!!!

Cines Ideal - Original Version Movies

I have been on a movie kick lately, which is even surprising to myself.  I don’t have the best track record for going to the movies.  I get so comfortable and I am usually so exhausted that within the first 15 minutes of the film, I am out cold and to top it off, I usually start snoring.  My movie snoring is similar to my flight snoring according to my husband; it starts off quiet and works its way into a progressively louder sound of a growling bear.  In my slumber, I suddenly remember where I am and nod myself awake which usually produces an even worse snorting sound.  I have fallen asleep at the movies with my sister (Bridges of Madison County), with Joanna (Good night, Good luck!) and many, many more whose titles I can’t even remember.  I can honestly say that I haven’t really been to the movies much in the last decade, as I wouldn’t dare.  I thought of it as a waste of money to pay for a nap and I preferred to see it on DVD so I could pick-up where I fell asleep.  Since I haven’t gone to the movies much, I have missed many Oscar and Golden Globe nominated films as well as pretty much any other film.  But just recently, I have found that if I go to the movies in the afternoon after my infamous siesta, I make it through the entire film and the credits with not one yawn.

Ixma and I went to the movies a bunch in Tel Aviv that was like the olden days when a red curtain would go up.  When we went to see the first of the Lord of the Rings the movie reel broke so we were just sitting there for about 20 or 30 minutes with the red curtain covering the dark screen.  Since it was so hot outside and the AC was on full blast in the theater, we really didn’t mind.  I don’t fall asleep at action films.

My movie kick has brought me to see Eat, Pray, Love that was beyond awful despite the fact that I enjoyed the memoir.  I admittedly fought to keep the lids open during the entire movie and why I endured the pain of sitting there watching such an awful movie is beyond me.  I have seen the Black Swan, which was AWESOME, and The Fighter, which I thought was inspirational and Marky Mark looks almost the same as he did when I went to see him when I was 15 in concert.   

Now that I am past the “I fall dead asleep at the movies” phase, the only thing that is keeping me from going to the movies more often is the Spanish movie etiquette.  It is unbelievable. 

The Spaniards have a thing for their cell phones, talking in public, sending messages in public, making grunting noises in public, complaining in public, etc.  It is like they almost forget that they are in public and that the cell phone is a cordless, portable device; you can bring it almost anywhere and still communicate and if you opt to talk so loudly whether it be on your cell phone or to the person next to you in public, those around you will eavesdrop so, please, don’t look so surprised.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Spaniards and I LOVE Spain 75% of the time but EVERYTHING is so dramatic, the world is a stage, right?

This past Saturday, Ixma and I went to see The Fighter.  We bought the tickets online so all we had to do was rush to the movies, pick up the tickets at the machine, and order an extra large popcorn.  We try to do the timing just right.  Finally, we sit in our seats and we were both pretty psyched to see the movie.  When the previews were showing Ixma whispers to me in English,

“The people are going to be quiet, right?”

That is always the question when we go to the movies in Spain.  We went to see the second Lord of the Rings in Madrid at the Cines Ideal in Sol where I see all movies in versión original con subtítulos, Ixma actually had to turn around and tell a bunch of deaf kids to stop making so much noise and to stop kicking the seats.  My eyes still go buggy at that episode.

“I hope so.” I responded a bit louder than I should have of.

About 10 minutes into the movie, despite all of the meditation yoga, I was suddenly agitated and turned to the couple next to me after quickly deciding that English would be more effective,

“Do you mind?” I asked them.

They almost fell out of their seats.  Sure, my etiquette wasn’t the best, sure, I surprised them with my non-accented English, sure, I should have politely asked them if they could kindly be EXTREMELY quiet during the ENTIRE movie but after living here for almost a decade, I decided it was best to ir al grano (to get straight to the point) to avoid further disturbance.

Not a peep out of them for the rest of the movie but there was a HUGE disturbance a couple of rows back from ours which made my little disturbance seem like a pin dropping.

“ A ver si pueden dejar de hacer ruido y molestar.” A man says out loud.  He didn’t really address anybody in particular but simply stated for everybody to stop making noise and bothering the rest of the crowd but there were two women who were seated behind him and murmuring during the film.

Spaniards love to protest and generally speaking, like to have the last word.

“Hago lo que me da la gana porque pago mi entrada.” The woman informs the loudmouth that she can do as she pleases because she pays for her ticket.

The charade carried on and you can imagine what was being said.  Annoying.

I almost chuckled but finally, about 2/3 into the movie, the only noise in the Sala 8 was from the actual movie; the viewers could finally hear the film and enjoy it.

If you opt to go to the movies in Spain, you have officially been forewarned that some viewers can’t keep their traps shut while others think that the bright light from their cell phones from reading and sending texts during the movie doesn’t bother anybody.  If only there were ear plugs to block out the loudmouths and people actually turned off their phones as advised in the beginning.  I say, just sit back and enjoy the shows.